Whoring Myself for an Apple

So, Autoblog, a site that has helped me pass many an afternoon at the office, is going to give a brand new iPod Nano to the person who gives them the funniest/hippest/strangest (who the hell knows) props by posting their favorite 10 links from Autoblog.

I've always been partial to free stuff and figured, why not; I won't win, I don't really have the humor to make this thing work right, nor the time, nor do I even have any idea what my 10 favorite posts were (hey at least I'm honest and don't link the first 10 I come to). Autoblog gives me an insight into the automobile industry that I have never had before. Sure, I've read a lot of auto mags in my time, but I never have time to sit down and flip through all the stories. However, by presenting information in nice ADD sized chunks (i.e. 1 paragraph), I can chose if I want to look into something further. Ok, I really didn't want this to be a fluff piece for Autoblog, but I figured for my regular readers (all 1.5 of them) I should at least introduce the site that I am shilling for.

Right about now, you're probably saying, "but wait, he doesn't even know his favorite 10 post." You, my friend, are correct. The problem is that I read the posts throughout the day, or at night, or on the weekend, and then I forget them. Many of the posts have made me laugh hysterically, although none have made me cry. I am going to go back over Autoblog to refresh my memory of my favorite posts…

Well, here are my 10 favorite posts in absolutely no particular order.

3 dead in Duesenberg accident: The tragedy of this is that the owner spent so much time and money into restoring this thing, only to have it kill him (and some of his family) in the end. I would not have come across this post elsewhere and for that am truly appreciative.

Stretched Mini Spied: I love the old Minis, and especially so the old Clubman. One used to live in the same parking lot as my car and it always pained me to climb into my econobox when such a classic (and classy) car was parked right next door. It has since left, I hope it's still alive and not in some junk yard - I would have loved to buy it. Anyway, I like the new Minis, but they are so numerous here (France) that you'd have thought they were rabbits. However, I hope that the new Clubman will have the same allure about it, while being just rare enough that every Tom, Dick and Jane don't own one.

Ask Autoblog: Should I get a new Audi A3? Or Certified Pre-Owned A4?: As an unavowed Europhile when it comes to cars, my interest is always piqued by anything related to European cars. Currently, I'm not really in the market for an A3 or A4, but in the next few years I will to be. Posts like this truly help me understand the pros and cons of new versus certified used programs.

SUV City - the film: The best thing about the blog factor of Autoblog is that it allows for all the wackos to come out of the woodwork and have their 10 seconds to scream in posts. Nothing brings this out more then posts like this one that links to a SUV (and SUV-owner) critical short film. I'm glad the post was there for the film, but it's so much more fun to read the comments from the wackjobs on both sides of the aisle.

Tom Waits sues GM over Opel radio ads: I had already seen this story, but this is my favorite post this month for one simple reason: "Apparently the highest compliment our culture grants artists nowadays is to be in an ad — ideally naked and purring on the hood of a new car. I have adamantly and repeatedly refused this dubious honor..."

The mandatory “car tips to improve your mileage!” post: The irony of Chrysler, the maker of Jeep and Hemi brand products, teaching us average joes about "fuel economy" just cracked me up - plus the post has some pretty funny parts.

Smaller and Cheaper Maserati: It gave me the opportunity to totally bollux up a beautiful Maserati in Photoshop!

What's Going on with Mazda?: The Mazda 3 is one of my favorite contemporary cars. As David Thomas talks about, what the hell is Mazda thinking, contemplating changes to this product? Doesn't make me regret the move away from the US I made a few years back. I know the Mazda 3 is going to stay the same in the EU.

Ethanol vs Gasoline: This is only one link related to the whole ethanol issue, but Autoblog does not pull any punches and doesn't seem to be under the influence of the corn farmers who want ethanol to work. They tell what passes for the truth these days and they don't have an agenda (ok, they do, they want to do silly contests to get people link to their site - still better than trying to sell me a car that I don't want).

Simpsons Criticized for not Wearing Their Seatbelts: Anything that combines two loves of mine, the Simpsons and motorized vehicles, into one post is perfect. As I explored a bit more in another post on my site, no one seems to have a problem that Homer can get Tom and Jerry-esque smacks to the head and not go down, but that when the Simpsons don't do something that "needs" to be socially engineered into humans, people start to complain.

My Life: My Renault Clio I

For new cars, there are tons of car reviews out there; every main web portal has starting offering research and "reviews" of cars. None of these reviews really offer true opinions on the cars. The magazines, newspapers, websites, etc, that test these cars rely on their relationships with the manufacturers to continue to get cars, to test, to report on, to sell mags or ad space. The LA Times learned the hard way that GM doesn't like any lip. GM pulled advertising from the LAT after carman Dan Neil said that GM should get rid of their CEO, Rick Wagoner. Robert Farago of The Truth About Cars has had his last remaining syndication contract removed by the San Fransisco Chronicle for a less than flattering review of Subaru's new SUV. He goes into detail about this and swears not to change in his column from 1 September 2005.

Anyway, all of this history to say, I have not read any objective reviews of a 1992 Renault Clio in a while. Therefore, in my pursuit of the truth, I will review my lovely 15-year-old car for the greater good of all human kind.

For a car that has lived with French drivers for 15 years, it is in excellent shape. It only has a few patches of matte white paint around the windows and to repair some scratch marks on the passenger side. The passenger's back panel looks like it was hit with a sledgehammer rubber mallet. The driver's side window washer spout doesn't work, the driver's side lock has fallen out and needed to be fixed back in place with generic rubber cement. Like I said, it's in excellent shape.

The performance numbers may shock and surprise you. 1.2 litre engine making a spritey 55 bhp with an earth-grinding 64 lb-ft of torque, this baby really makes you realize there is a god, a god of thrill, when you wind it out to the engine to its redline (which I can't tell you because of the lack of a tachometer). 0-100 km comes before you know it. A mere 15.2 human seconds pass before you are traveling at highway speeds (I'm pretty sure they tested this down a hill with a tailwind, but none-the-less...). The quarter mile, well, let's just say, most days it can go a quarter mile with no problems. A stunning top speed of 150 km/h (92 mph) is well above the US and French legal limits. However, it does scream a bit at highway speeds (if only Renault 4 cylinder engines had the same acoustic properties of an Audi V8).

You can't really go around turns very quickly, mostly because one of the front CV joints are a bit bent so you get some heavy-duty thumping whenever you turn and accelerate at the same time. No one has tested this on the skid pad, but I am almost sure that this is due to special interest pressure from Ferrari and Porsche. If they tested it it may have resulted in some redfaces in Maranello and Stuttgart. Ok, in reality wicked understeer kicks in very quickly.

Basically to summarize, this car is perfect for you if you want to use it anywhere but: On the highway, in situations where you have to accelarate quickly, or any types of turns.

If you're interested in buying a near-mint example, I know where you can find one at a good price...

The "best" picture from New Orleans

I am hesitant to use the word "best" to describe this photo; "most emotive" is probably better. Anyway, this picture is the most moving that I have seen since the beginning of this thing.

It was taken by Mario Tama of Getty Images; I found it on slate.com.

Mini Clubman [Update]

Well folks, here it is, the first real image of the upcoming Mini 5-door. Unlike the previously posted, digitally enhanced, images these are real. As Motoring File notes, it is highly disguised with plastic add-ons, but we can very clearly see that it is significantly longer than the standard Mini.

However, what was not noted, but I noticed immediately is that the butt of this car looks disappointingly like the rear of the new BMW 1-Series hatchback/wagon/whatever, that has been out in Europe for the past year or so. You'd think that Beemer could do a better job at making this car distinct, since they'll probably end up as near rivals; at least in Europe (plus I don't want my Mini to look like a BMW and visa-versa).

More picks at the link.

Not Necessarily a Mea Culpa, but...

Previously I had expressed my opinions about the people who chose to stay in New Orleans while Katrina slammed into them.

I didn't fully know the story when I went off like this, and I still do believe that it was crazy to stay, but I do realize now that many of these people had no place to go and nothing else to do, and in certain circumstances no means of personal transportation out. In the same situation I think I would have chosen to get out...No, I know that I would have chosen to get out (and made it happen no matter what the situation was), nothing for me would be more important than ensuring that I got out.

Solidarity Doesn't Mean Losing Money

Anyone who knows anything about France, knows that they love to strike here; and they love to support the strikers (although this has been changing in recent years). Bus strikes, train strikes and airport strikes, plus electricity and natural gas strikes are more or less the norm.

What is becoming more popular however in the last 10 years or so is disgruntled truck drivers blocking roads or gasoline depots. In 1997 there was a very bad strike where the European Union had to step in and tell the French government to work this out or there would be consequences on the supra-national level. Then in 2000 or 1999 they blocked the gasoline depots and France had to live without petrol for a couple of weeks. They tried again in 2001/2002 which led to great panic, but a much lower overall impact.

So fast forward to 2005. The price of a barrel of oil is hovering in the $70 range. Everyone is unhappy. The French government imposes some of the harshest taxes on petroleum products in the world and the truckers are pissed off. So they decide that they will not suffer alone (although I am still not sure how they think they are suffering alone - gasoline is an equal opportunity commodity). Anyway, they decide that if they have to pay too much for fuel, well no one should have it. They try to block the depots. They thought they would get support from the farmers and the fishermen in their trespassing and menancing of these depots. Well, they just choose the wrong time: Sébastien Pons of the organization Young Farmers said; "We are solidary with their action, but we are in the middle of the grape picking period. After the season, if the situation is still bad, we will wholeheartly put ourselves into the action."

"You can't actually expect us to hurt ourselves? Can you? Hell we have no problem blocking the roads and hurting the entire country, but pffht, you can't seriously think we'd do something to hurt us!!?!?!"

The cops came in and cleaned out the truckers after less than 24 hours of strike.

A little editorializing:
Yes, I realize that these guys get hurt by the increase in the price of fuel, but so do all the rest of us. It's a market economy, right? That's the point, when something is in short supply, or the supplies are threatened, it costs more. The truckers obviously use a lot of money on diesel - I don't know how the billing is done here, if they have to pay themselves (it wouldn't seem logical, I would think that the freight companies would be paying for the fuel - and they, in turn, would be passing it on to us, the consumers) it is obviously tough for them. Yeah, the farmers have it tough, they have to buy diesel too, but don't get me started on the French farmers and their government handouts. It hurts the fisherman as well, but I am sure that these groups can deduct this money from their tax returns. In any case, I am completely floored by the fact that this is accepted by the French; even if only by not doing anything against this. They allow their country to be held hostage by these protestors.

It is good news for the free-loving residents here that the authorities put an end to this before it got out of hand (I just hope that the farmers don't get angry after the grapes are picked and decide to take up arms as well...)

Today's Lie

THE LIE
"I don't think anyone anticipated the breach of the levees. Now we're having to deal with it, and will." -George W. Bush, Good Morning America, September 1, 2005 (quoted from NY Times, Sept. 2, 2005)

THE TRUTH
NEW ORLEANS FLEES AS KATRINA APPROACHES GULF COAST
Posted 8/28/2005 8:02 AM USA Today Online

"The fear is that flooding could overrun the levees and turn New Orleans into a toxic lake filled with chemicals and petroleum from refineries, as well as waste from ruined septic systems.

Nagin said he expected the pumping system to fail during the height of the storm. The mayor said the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers was standing by to get the system running, but water levels must fall first."