22 Hours in [not so] great Britian - Phase I: Getting In

To make a long introduction short, a restaurant that I work with here in Bordeaux "purchased" a Lincoln 120" stretch Town Car on eBay from a seller in Southampton, England. Being that there are a plethora of low-cost airlines in Europe, the manager, Franck, found that he could fly to Southampton from Bordeaux for about 50 euros total. He, not an English-speaker, asked me if I would like to go with him to Blighty to translate and hang out and, assuming the purchase went as planned, take the car through the Chunnel and down to Bordeaux. I, having nothing I couldn't put off on my schedule, said Why not?

The flight was at 2pm out of Bordeaux, next stop Southampton "International" Airport. In retrospect, the fact that the plane took off on time for the outbound leg was probably the best thing that happened to us on this trip. Arrival, on time, at Southampton. Ok, we go through the customs line, and everyone else was either a Brit or French. I get told I have to fill out the landing card to get into their "wonderful" country. I do so and return to the line. No dice, the customs agent doesn't want to waste time with me, so she tells me to step aside and she'll get "back to me." Her two colleagues were standing there watching her work for about five minutes and after everyone got through the three of them came over to me. I still don't know what the problem was (we didn't have return tickets, but they didn't ask if we did either). They wanted to know why I was in Britain – To look at a car. They wanted to know if we were buying the car – I don't know, I'm just here cause I speak English. They want to know how were paying for the car – I don't know. They take Franck away, I guess so they can "question" us separately to see if our stories are the same. They ask me about my residency – I have French residency. They ask to see my French drivers license – I show it to them and they take many notes from it. They want to know why I don't work – getting pissed off at this point I tell them to ask the French government why the job market is so terrible.

Then they ask if I've been to GB before – yeah, I was a student in Northern Ireland. Oops. Now, I'm no longer just trying to sneak into GB, I'll probably a bloody IRA member. Why Northern Ireland? Cause I wanted to go to Ireland, and the North had the best program. What did I study? History, Political Science – crap, now I really am a terrorist. But why the University of Ulster? Cause I had to do a program abroad, Europe seemed good and Derry was cheaper than Copenhagen. But WHY CHOSE DERRY and not some other Irish school – because my school had an exchange with the University of Ulster – oh, that's what I've been looking for all along.

Moving along now, do you have any papers for the car? No, I'm just here to translate. Do you have any documents related to the purchase? Ditto. Who may you buy this car from? Coastal Credit. Do you have a phone number for Offshore Credit? Coastal Credit, and yes I have a number...I'll be back in a minute.

He comes back and now wants to [again] know how we're going to pay for the car – I DON'T KNOW! They bring me into the same room as Franck. He tells me that he told them that the money was going to be paid by transfer (but he actually had cash). They make 2 or 3 phone calls – one to Coastal Credit and then they go out and interview the guy who came to pick us up – taking his driver's license.

They then ask if they have searched Franck's bag (they searched mine twice) and the guy says no. The guy the says, so you have no cash and Franck says yes, yes, cash. And shows them €9,500 in cash. They do a little math, say that comes out to about the agreed price in pounds, they say have a nice day and they leave. That's it.

I still have no idea what they were thinking or looking for...If I wanted to, as a legal French resident, I think I could go to England and request a work permit. Ok, the Derry thing, fine, it may be important to know why an American student chose to go to Derry, but come on – it's not freaking Afghanistan. The whole incident just strikes me a weird...In retrospect I think they may have been bored and don't get too many opportunities to mess around with people...Who knows.

I've never had these problems – Jeff and I went to Switzerland a couple years back, no problem. I've been to Germany, Ireland, Spain, Italy, THE UK before, and of course the US many times and never had the smallest problem and they chose a stupid 1:20 minute flight from Bordeaux to Southampton to do this...I just don't understand. Oh well.

So, 2 hours into our trip we were just clearing customs. I'll post the rest of the trip later.